Fang - Rescuing the World's Ugliest Cat

I don't have a picture or a gender of "Fang" yet but this cat is our latest rescue. I tell you what, this cat needed a rescue. It's dirty, stinky, and ugly. U - G - L - Y. And sweet, but did I mention ugly? I think it is supposed to be a Persian but I call it a perversion. Adding injury to insult, the unfortunate creature also possessed a horrific upper respiratory infection.

As we were leaving the property and arrived at the stop sign located at the junction of our major cross street and a US Highway, there it was - wandering aimlessly on the side of the highway, just getting ready to pass the stop sign.

Me: "Awwww, Honey! Stop!"
My Husband: (looking warily at the monstrously matted, horribly filthy, furred, fanged beastie and getting ready to gun the car onto the highway and away from the poor creature) "What?!"
Me: "Stop! Look at her! She's lost..."
My Husband: "So?" (Resignedly replacing his foot on the brake.)
Me: (Opening the car door and addressing the cat) Where are you going?
Cat: (Blinks) ...
Me: (Getting out of the car and addressing the wary animal) What happened to you?
Cat: MEOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWW! (Immediately confirming my suspicion that horrible tales of woe were sure to follow)

I scooped him/her up and gave her to my youngest daughter in the back seat and Fang was a happy critter. Fang immediately laid down on Youngest's lap, quite at home with this new situation. She tried out both laps in the back seat, spending a little quality time with both girls and then settled down on my older daughter's lap.

Now my Oldest daughter is staring with morbid fascination at the trainwreck of Fang's face when suddenly Fang erupted in an explosion of liquid sneezes. Oldest is recoiling in confused revulsion, Youngest is gasping with horrified amusement, my husband is groaning in complete disgust, and I'm caught between sympathy for Oldest, pity for Fang and wondering if I'll be asked to quietly deposit Fang at another stop sign before we can make it to a shelter. Fortunately, the crisis passed and Fang purred, kneaded, sneezed and drooled heartily all the way into town. All the while staring out the window and frightening drivers in the next lane.

We temporarily placed her in my mom-in-law's garage pending a trip to the vet for major decontamination, a physical and a dental exam, and - wishful thinking - plastic surgery. She's possessed of the two most wall-eyed fangs I've ever seen, what appears to be a cleft palate, and an underbite so severe that her tongue hangs out, permanently. (Shiver)

My girls are fascinated by her sheer ugliness. "She's so ugly, she's almost cute!" Nuh-uh. Nope. She's just ugly. ("Nooooooo!", they wail in the background, "Cuuuuuute!")